Racin’ Roulette

So a casino in Kansas begs for more racing there. Of course. Because when I think gambling, I think Kansas. No I don’t. Heck, when I think racing, one of the last things I think is Kansas. Dorothy would be vindicated because this fantasy will surely come to pass.

This news somehow reminded me of Steve Allen’s ongoing bit when prompted by the phrase “beside myself”. He would hop one space to his left (or right) and be ready to respond to himself.

I can imagine this scenario:

Mr. France: “Brian, they’re building a casino next door to your track.”

Brian: “Well, Mr. France, if that’s so, I think you should consider giving me another race date.”

Mr. France: “I don’t see the connection.”

Brian: “Well there’s a huge interest in betting on races.”

Mr. France: “Not as long as Jimmie Johnson and Rowdy are competing.”

Brian: “OK. But all those people from all over the country who have no place to gamble and are looking for something to do on one more Sunday will flock to this amazing track that has had so many historic races.”

Mr. France: “Are we still talking about Kansas or North Wilkesboro?”

Brian: “Who cares. I own Kansas (the track, not the State), not N. Wilkesboro or The Rock or any of those other places that used to have great racing. The point is there will be gambling and if they build it someone will come.”

Mr. France: “Alright, but are you going to be racing in December?”

Brian: “Of course not. Eventually we’ll have to shutter one of our other facilities for lack of interest or intervention by OSHA.

Mr. France: “It’s a done deal.”

I’m beside myself.

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